


Welcome To My Cul-De-Sac, Legends

by WaveRiding (ElevenElectric)



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual John Constantine, Episode: s05e07 Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac, Fluff and Angst, John is having a rough time, Leonard Snart Lives, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Sex, Nora is stressed, Pansexual Leonard Snart, Possessive Leonard Snart, Puppets, References to Canonical Character Death, Swearing, no beta we die like len
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElevenElectric/pseuds/WaveRiding
Summary: John Constantine was having a rough go of it in recent days, between his past literally coming back to haunt him and nearly dying of accelerated lung cancer, the last thing he needed was to have his own team stand in his way of getting the Loom of Fate for Astra. Meanwhile Damian Darhk is back from hell and Rory's funk kept him out of commission. Leonard Snart was just caught up in the middle of all of it, trying to keep his sanity.Basically a rewrite of "Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac" from season 5 but Leonard Snart is back from the dead, also Coldstantine.
Relationships: John Constantine/Leonard Snart, Nora Darhk/Ray Palmer, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe (minor)
Kudos: 12





	Welcome To My Cul-De-Sac, Legends

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever so I hope it turned out ok.
> 
> Background for how this fits into canon: Leonard came back as an Encore some time between "Meet the Legends" and "Slay Anything." He was able to lift his soul coin off of Astra before leaving hell so he's not under her influence, nor did he get any hell weapons or powers. Leonard and John got together at the end of "Mortal Khanbat." Everything else is the same. 
> 
> Title from the "Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac" intro song.
> 
> Some dialogue is taken directly from the episode.

Len was tinkering with the cold gun when Constantine burst into his room, collapsing face down on his bed with a heavy sigh. Setting aside the cold gun for now, he turned to look at the man lying in his bed. Even though he couldn’t see John’s face, the tension in his body was obvious. “I take it Sara and Ava weren’t on board with the whole Loom of Fate idea.” 

John flipped himself over with an exaggerated groan. “Oh no it went bloody perfect!” The sarcasm was biting. He took a moment to sit himself up, so he was facing Leonard. Now he could clearly see the irritation and exhaustion in John’s eyes. His miraculous recovery from sudden stage four lung cancer just a few days ago seemed to be old news to everyone else, but Len could tell John was still feeling the aftershocks. “Charlie has them all convinced the Loom is too dangerous, too powerful to even consider looking for the pieces. It’s just...” John paused; his hands were shaking now. “I understand the fear, if the Loom got into the hands of the wrong bastard it could be disastrous, but this is my only option. This the only way to make things right with Astra and the only thing keeping me alive.”

John had pushed himself off the bed and began pacing, running trembling hands through his hair. He was talking more to himself than Len now. “Twelve seconds.” He paused. “There were twelve seconds left on my clock when Astra reconsidered.” The shaking was getting worse. Ans his breathes grew erratic. “Twelve bloody seconds. God, I need a cigarette.”

John had quit smoking after the cancer incident, and withdrawals had been a bitch. Len could clearly see that if left to his own devices John would spiral in a bad way. He was on his feet in an instant. With quick steps Len positioned himself in front of John, hands hovering over John’s waiting for John to signal it was ok to go forward. He gave a slight nod, and Len took John’s hands in his own.

“John. Johnny. Look at me. We will find a way to get through this. I can try and talk to Sara myself about this, can’t promise she’ll listen to anything I say, but I will try. And if we can’t get the team on board, we can search for it ourselves, between my brains and your arcane knowledge I’m sure we can manage. I bet I can even get Mick to help us.” Len shifted to wrap an arm around John’s waist. John leaned into the hold, head resting on Len’s shoulder as his breathing evened out. “Point is, you’re not alone in this and we don’t need to figure everything out right this minute. Good planning takes time. When I would plan my heists, I would take weeks gathering intel, security systems, building layouts, police response times. Now then, you look like hell, get some rest.” Len’s steady drawl, low and soft in John’s ear grounded him. He was alive, safe. 

Normally John would snap back with a witty retort of his own, but he really was exhausted. The past week was a nonstop barrage on his body and psyche. First Nat decided to play an inescapable showing of all of his worst regrets, then Astra pushed him to death’s door, and now his one shot at fixing everything seemed out of reach. He didn’t have the energy. He let Len lay him back on the bed, falling into a dreamless sleep as Len carded his fingers through John’s dirty blonde hair. 

Len left John to his much-needed rest, to figure out what the hell was up with Mick. The man had barely left his room for days now and Len was moderately worried. Best case scenario he was writing again (the fact his criminal partner became a romance novelist was still completely bizarre to him), worst case they needed to start fireproofing everything fast. He wasn’t the only one with concerns apparently as Sara, Ava, and Zari were huddled around Mick’s door. Sara and Ava were all dressed up for the wild west (must be a new encore), while Zari looked like she was still mid-morning routine if the face mask was anything to go by.

“Hey Mick get out here right now.” Sara yelled at the sealed room, obviously a little annoyed. He couldn’t really blame her for it. The self-proclaimed “Time Bros” and Gary were currently at Constantine’s house helping Ray propose (here’s hoping number 4 actually works out this time). And of the people still on the Waverider, most were caught up in their own things and distracted from the Encore situation, himself included. 

Mick’s doors whooshed open revealing the man himself. The reading glasses were on so whatever had him preoccupied probably had to do with his writing. “What”

“What is going on?” Sara asked with an incredulous look.

“Someone is trashing Rebecca Silver online.” Mick’s stoic expression and blunt tone made it clear this was going to be his main priority for the time being. Encores be damned. 

Zari gave an amused smile. “Oh, cute you have a troll.”

Mick turned to Zari “What’s wrong with your face.” Len held back a small laugh, Mick knew what a face mask was. Lisa was always fond of them. This was just a quick barb for not taking his problem seriously. And with that Mick gave Len a nod and retreated back into his room.

Sara turned her attention to Zari and Len. “Zari, your mission is to help Mick.” In any other situation that would have gone to Len, but of the two, Zari was the online social media expert. “Snart, cowboy up, we’re headed back to Salvation.”

*******

John woke up alone in Len’s room. As usual his boyfriend’s read on the situation was right, he really needed that sleep. Boyfriend, that was still new. Raymond wasn’t the only one inspired to “carpe his diem” after John’s near death. He’d enjoyed their flirtatious banter up until this, but now he actually had Len. They’d kissed in John’s excitement at Astra sparing him. And that night they’d had some truly spectacular glad to be alive sex that left John unable to walk properly the next day. And with that pleasant memory putting a smile on his face, John set off to the library to do some research on this bloody Loom.

Without the Legends (and specifically Charlie’s) help he was stuck doing this the long way. And that meant scouring every book they had for anything actually useful. Needle in a fucking haystack. He really wanted a light right now. But no, he quit, and he quit for a reason. John did not want to go through dying of lung cancer again any time soon. Just the thought sent chills down his spine. He was currently trying out new things to replace the habit and satisfy the oral fixation. His current vice replacement was sunflower seeds.

“Defiling the library, I see.” Nate observed, displeasure in his voice, as he entered what was once his domain. 

“Yeah, well, you know, I’ve quit smoking, so I need a new habit.”

“Doin some research?”

“Yeah, I need to find the Loom of Fate to save Astra but since Charlie isn’t making it easy for me, I am doing it the hard way.”

“Why not ask a historian?”

John laughed at that. He highly doubted that the secrets to the Loom of Fate were just something you just happened upon at university. But what the hell, John was open to anything that might help. “Alright then Mr. Professor, tell me, what do you know?”

Dr. Heywood as it turned out, actually did know some useful information. Apparently, some old explorer, Shackleton, thought a piece of the Loom was under the South Pole. Fucking Antarctica, because of course it was. That was just the kind of luck good old John Constantine had. At least he had a lead.

*******

Len and the girls didn’t find the Encore, but they did find Gary Green from the past actually tied to train tracks. Because their Encore apparently came out of a Saturday morning cartoon. The rescue was easy enough, but the reveal that Damien Darhk was their Encore presented problems. Darhk was bad enough the first time around, who knows what he could be capable of now that Astra might have given him a hell weapon. There was also the Nora situation. Len liked Nora, he felt for her, no one can fuck you up quite like parents. Darhk handed his daughter up to a demon on a silver platter, then died to save her from it. That kid had to have some complicated feelings about dear old dad after all that. 

Back on the Waverider, Sara and Ava were similarly aware of the problem Darhk posed. He’d killed Sara’s sister. Len could sympathize with that, anyone who harmed Lisa earned a one-way ticket to absolute zero. He’d leave this to Sara and Ava to sort out for now. Len wanted to check in on John, make sure his boyfriend wasn’t doing anything reckless. He passed Behrad and Nate on his way to his room, it looked like they had just gotten back as well. 

Len had barely changed out of his western gear into normal clothes when John rushed into his room with a large outdoor bag of some sort. He barely spared Len a glance before speeding to his closet. “I need one of your parkas.” 

Len cocked an eyebrow at that. John wearing his clothes was definitely a mental image he liked, but something fishy was going on here. Coming up behind John he wrapped his arms around his stomach. “Now as much I love the thought of you in my clothes, why exactly do need a parka.” 

Turning back at him John sighed. “Nate gave me a lead on the Loom. Says some old explorer tracked down one of the pieces in Antarctica.” Well, that explained the bag and sudden need for warm clothes. 

“Nate told you this. When?” 

“Little while ago in the library. Now are you going to tell me where your bloody parkas are?” John flipped through Len’s various jackets with a huff. 

“Johnny, I hate to say it, but you got played. Nate just got back on the Waverider when I did.” 

John froze and groaned. “Fucking Charlie. I should have known. I mean I let them use my damn house for Ray’s proposal.” He sighed again, twisting in Len’s arms so they were face to face, John’s hands resting on his shoulders. “You know I’m no good at this stuff but thank you, for helping me keep my head on straight through all this.”

“Always happy to help.” Len replied. He let the moment rest before his lips curled into smirk “And if you really want to thank me, I can think of a few ideas.”

John’s eyebrows rose as he grinned back “Well Handsome, I could probably be persuaded to indulge a few of those.”

*******

John’s head rested on Len’s broad chest as he basked in the afterglow of a good shag. He needed to get his shit together. He couldn’t let himself be conned like that again. Out of all the tomes he’d collected one of them had to have something useful on the Loom. 

“You’re thinking too loud John.” Len’s smooth drawl broke through his thoughts. “Care to share with the class?” 

“There has to be some lead out there. Powerful artifacts like the Loom don’t just vanish without a trace, there’s always some trace.” 

“Then we’ll find it. Just don’t let yourself get obsessed that’s when you make mistakes and lose sight of the bigger picture. I know you can do this, just try not to get in your own way.”

“Yeah yeah, I hear you. Did you have a chance to talk to Sara?”

“Not yet but I will, soon.”

“Alright then, as much as I would love to lay in bed with you for the rest of my days, should get back to research. I think I’ll pop back home and see what I’ve got stashed there.”

Len may have helped temper some of his frustration, but Constantine still wasn’t in the best mood when he teleported back to his home in Newcastle. He let out an exasperated call for his assistant “Gary!” John knew he was helping Ray out with the proposal dinner, but he would need the extra hands sorting through everything he had stored in these walls. He was sure Ray could manage without Gary for a bit.

John could hear footsteps coming up behind him, but when he turned towards them it was his bumbling assistant standing in the entryway. “Damian Darhk.” Last Constantine heard the man had been taken over by a demon and the Legends had killed him with some kind of magic Beebo kaiju. He must be the team’s encore. 

Darhk himself seemed just as surprised to see John as John was to see him if his wide eyes were anything to go by. “John Constantine” They circled each other warily, both warlocks sizing the other up. “You know, I don’t think we’ve actually ever met before, seeing as you’re still breathing.”

It was true, they hadn’t met. But they’d definitely heard of each other, the dark arts were a small world more often than not. Those who managed to dabble and keep their lives and sanity were few and far between. Damian Darhk in all his years had made quite the name for himself in magic circles, but John wasn’t so easily intimidated. “Ah but you have died before though, right? So, what’s about to happen should feel a little... familiar.”

For a moment neither moved. Then Darhk through the first attack, which John easily blocked. John flung a wave of magic and Darhk responded sending a chair back at him. John decided it was time to stop fucking around with this basic shit, they were both capable of more than this and John wasn’t about to let Damian Darhk trash his house. Lighting his hand up in flame John shot a glare at Darhk. “That was an heirloom you-“ But before he could lose the train of expletives on his tongue and fire in his hand, Nora rushed in between them. 

“Stop it both of you!” Nora’s exasperation was palpable.

“This vagrant is trespassing!” Darhk accused with a point.

“This is my house you plonker.” 

“Your house? Nora, I thought-“

Nora cut her father off before he could finish, panic coloring her voice. “Well... Technically. it is his house. His name is on the title.” Nora let out a humorless nervous laugh and John got a very uneasy feeling in his gut as she backed up to stand next to him. A quick glance at Damian revealed he was just as lost. “But in practice... it’s our house.” And with that she latched on to his arm and kissed him. The bloody hell was going on here. 

“Right babe?” Nora looked at him with expectation. He caught a glimpse of Sara behind them, motioning for him to just roll with it. Len was not going be happy about this.

“Right love, my love” John had no idea where he was going to this. “that is because we are indeed uh together.” Yes, he was definitely dating Nora and not a morally grey ex villain and thief turned reluctant antihero with a possessive streak.

Damian seemed to buy it at least. “Oh, Nora doll. Here I thought you were all alone, but now I know that you have a powerful warlock in your life.” Darhk inched closer to them as he spoke. “Johnny C, you bring it in here! You rascal!” And with that John found himself pulled into a crushing hug. He sent Nora a look that hopefully conveyed that she definitely owed him some kind of explanation for this madness. 

*******

Leonard needed to find Sara, he promised John he would talk to her about the Loom for him and he intended to make good on that. Instead, he found Ray conversing with a random child watching some kid’s show. He was sure he was going to regret asking but still. “Raymond why are you babysitting instead of having dinner with your girlfriend?” 

Ray startled, both he and the mysterious little girl turning to look back at him. “Oh, hi Snart. You remember Pippa, Nora’s current charge.” Right the godmother thing, this was the kid they’d roped into trying to cure John’s lung cancer.

Pippa gave him a disinterested once over before turning back to Ray. “Where’s my fairy godmother?” It looked like answers were going to have to wait. 

“She’s busy with her father.” Ray explained. He’d almost forgotten about the Damian Darhk situation helping out with John.

“So why are you here and not there?” Maybe he’d get some answers after all.

“She asked me to give them space, and I am respecting her boundaries.”

“She’s hiding you from her dad.” Given what Len knew about Darhk that probably wasn’t a bad guess. If he found out about Ray and Nora, Ray probably wouldn’t be long for this world. “Mr. Parker says you can love whoever you want to love and to not be ashamed.”

“Cute sentiment kid but this is more complicated than that.” Pippa’s gaze snapped back to Len as he chimed in, like she hadn’t expected him to still be around.

Ray scoffed. “Right, and you don’t have to quote season 8, episode 15 to me okay?” Of course, Raymond had this saccharine crap memorized. He started again trying to explain but before he could Pippa decided to take matters into her own hands.

“Fairy Godmother! Come here now.” Ray tried to stop her, but it was too late. Nora appeared in Sara’s office with a cloud of blue sparkles. 

“Damn its Ray, I said no summoning!” Nora’s frazzled expression gave Len the impression things with her father weren’t going too well. He reflexively reached for the cold gun on his hip. “Do you have any idea how many plates I’m spinning right now trying to keep my dad happy?” 

“Many, but quick question is you hiding me?” Len rolled his eyes at Ray’s question, now was not the time for relationship drama.

“Of course, I am. I am telling him 1,000 lies right now to make sure nobody gets killed.”

“Oh well, why not just tell him the truth?” Ray’s naivety continued to astound Leonard. And he wasn’t the only one.

Nora had an incredulous look on her face as Ray said that. “Why not just tell him the truth? Why don’t I just tell my megalomaniac dad that his little girl is a slave to the whims of children, and is screwing an eagle scout? That sounds amazing.” Nora was on the edge of a breakdown and Ray was definitely going to say something very endearingly optimistic but completely unhelpful. 

“Alright everyone let’s just take a minute to cool down.” Everyone’s heads snapped to Len. “Raymond, I know you live in a land of fairytales where the truth always makes everything better but for tonight, we need you to put that aside. I’m sure Nora here has a plan to take care of her Dad and hiding you away here has nothing to do with shame or because she doesn’t love you. Honestly, you’re video calls are nauseatingly lovey dovey. So just trust your girlfriend.” 

Ray nodded solemnly. “Just know I’m here for you Nora, I love you. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I love you too Ray.” 

Ok this was getting too heartfelt. “Now Nora what exactly is the plan right now?”

She took a deep breath. “Ok we have my dad at Constantine’s house and we’re trying to keep him distracted and happy while Gary works on a potion to strip him of his magic. Right now, he thinks I’m this powerful sorceress, Sara and Ava work for me, and Constantine and I are together, and both live in his house”

Leonard’s eyebrows shot up at that last part. “What was that about John?

“Constantine came home. My dad saw him. They started getting into a fight, Dad accused him of trespassing and John told him that it was actually his house and I had to come up with something on the fly ok?” Nora’s tone made it clear no one, except for maybe Darhk, was happy about this situation. “Now I have to get back. Bye.” She gave Ray a quick kiss on the cheek and vanished with a flourish of magic. 

Len could feel Ray’s eyes on him. His relationship with John was new, and they hadn’t gotten around to telling everyone yet. Ray knew, he was there when they got together. So, he probably guessed the reason for the tension in his jaw as he ground his teeth together. “Hey, Snart, you good buddy?” 

Len just let out a blunt “Peachy.” And stormed off. To quote John, he needed a bloody drink.

Leonard Snart was possessive, he was a thief, he took what he wanted and made it his, it was in his nature. So, having to sit by while his boyfriend was off playing house with Nora Darhk in a convoluted if on brand Legends plan to de-power Damien Darhk was hellish. And he would know, he’d spent four years there. At least he wasn’t alone in his misery. Raymond objectively had it worse, this was supposed to be the night he proposed, but now he was stuck hidden away, watching Pippa. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust John (or Nora for that matter). He just hated the idea of John acting romantically with someone other than him while they were together. John knew about this side of him, he’d experienced it firsthand right after they got together. Gary was still afraid of him.

At first Leonard thought Gary’s little crush on John was kind of cute and a little funny. He would trail after John like a lost puppy. It was less entertaining when he learned John and Gary actually did hook up in the past. It wasn’t a relationship by any sense of the word, but it still happened. Any sense of amusement died once he found out Gary allied himself with the demon that wrecked John’s life and possessed Raymond, and then used Nora’s fairy godmother powers to make himself John’s apprentice. 

He thought back to that night. John was riding an adrenaline high of having escaped the jaws of death. He’d decided he wanted to continue this celebration somewhere a little more private and dragged Len to one of the upstairs bedrooms in his Newcastle home. Ray was off hailing the Waverider for pickup, leaving Gary an awkward third wheel. He ended up making a poor judgement call and tried to follow them a little while later, having completely misread the situation. When he’d found them, he caught an eyeful (and earful) of Len and John in bed. John had been too caught up in getting fucked to notice, but the glare Len sent their unwelcome guest froze Gary on the spot. He wore the expression of a man chilled to core as Len’s ice blue eyes bore into him. Before Len could even voice the threat in his throat, Gary came to his senses and frantically bolted from the room. 

Leonard wasn’t about to do anything rash, letting his own selfish jealousy compromise the mission would be childish. Unfortunately, Mick was still off doing... something, so he was left drinking in the galley with Nate, Behrad, and Ray. He wasn’t paying much attention to their conversation but from what he understood, Nate and Behrad had some reservations about Ray’s whole proposal plan. 

Suddenly Ray sputtered and exclaimed “The ring is in the mousse!” Right, because the dinner John had been roped into was planned by the frustratingly romantic Ray Palmer and of course he would do something like hide the ring in the dessert. Ray shot out of the room. 

Len considered following but this was too much for him, instead choosing to try and find his missing partner. 

*******

Dinner with the Darhks was an awkward affair. John prided himself on being a bit of a con man himself, but this role just reminded him how long it had been since he’d done the whole meet the family thing in a relationship. The fact that Nora was with Ray, a man far to gallant for his own good, made it all worse. There was something that felt far too much like betrayal sitting in his stomach because of it. He just held on to the hope that maybe Darhk could give him a line on the Loom of Fate if he played his cards right. The fact that Len was bound to be worked up over this farce also didn’t hurt. The man was hot when he got possessive, sue him. But now wasn’t the time for daydreaming about his boyfriend. 

He and Darhk had settled into a relatively comfortable exchange, recounting tales of their various exploits. Nora had returned and Damian was now praising their nonexistent relationship. “You know, I shouldn't be shocked that you'd be drawn to a fellow after your pop's old line of work.”

“Oh, well, you know me, Dad. I can't help but keep the family business going.” Nora 

“That's my girl.”

Well, that was as good an opening as any. “Not that I could ever live up to a great collector of artifacts such as yourself.” He paused “Oh, but sadly some things could never be found. You take, for instance, the Loom of Fate.” Of course, Sara decided to make an appearance right then, signaling her disapproval by slamming the wine bottle harder than necessary on the table.

Darhk didn’t seem to notice or care though. “I never did find that one. That's because it was scattered across the multiverse.”

“Oh, well, it's all on one Earth now... ours” John knew he was pressing his luck here, but he didn’t care. 

“Intriguing” Damian seemed fully interested now. “Still, you need a Fate to put it all together and operate it.”

“Right, sounds like there's no point in even looking for it. Right, John?” Between the steel in her voice and the look she was leveling at him, Sara was aiming to shut this conversation down here and now. 

“Yeah. Especially with so many exciting opportunities to think about. Right, babe?” Ava’s response was unexpected, but at least it took the weight of Sara’s scrutiny of him.

“Yep, maybe not the time.” Sara hadn’t expected that either. 

Glee colored Damian’s face as he caught on to the tension between the two women. “I'm sensing something juicy bubbling with the help.” Because Sara and Ava’s relationship troubles was just what this mess needed. Just like that with Darhk’s goading they were both sat at the table airing all their dirty laundry for everyone to hear. 

Nora definitely had the right idea downing her wine like a drowning woman in the Sahara. 

Finally, they’d reached the final course. Gary served the table chocolate mousse with shaky hands. John still hadn’t been filled in on the plan but with dinner coming to a close he could probably slip away to have a chat with the “staff” and get some answers. He was so absorbed with finishing up and getting out of there as soon as possible he missed Ray’s arrival and Ava’s sudden coughing fit. Damian was saying something, but he wasn’t paying attention.”

“John” his head snapped up Darhk said his name, “was there a question that you wanted to ask?”

He swallowed quickly. “Question?” Darhk motioned with a nod. There was a ring in Ava’s hand. Ray’s ring. Ray’s ring for Nora. _Bullocks._ “Oh, right, yeah. Um...The question, of course.” 

John could barely keep it together as he stood up and took the ring from Ava. Behind her he could see Ray looking on with sheepish horror. Same here mate. Everyone was looking at him, and he could feel the weight of their gazes. Well fuck nothing to do but to do it. Mustering up any kind of confidence to cover up the crushing awkwardness he gave what he assumed was the most unenthusiastic proposal he’d ever heard. “Nora Darhk, uh, will you marry me?” These bastards owed him for this. 

“Just when I thought this night couldn't get any better.” Wishful thinking must be a hell of a drug if Damian was actually buying this. “My daughter has found the love of her life. Forget the mousse. More champagne!” 

“No” Nora’s voice was soft and low in stark contrast to her father’s excitement. 

“What? What? I'm sorry, what was that? I'm sorry, I thought you said no.” Damian’s disbelief and bafflement were evident on his face. 

“No” 

“Sh... I know she... she just said... I thought she... did she say no?” He sputtered out, rising from his seat. John could tell this farce was ending fast.

“No, I won't marry John, because I can't lie to you anymore, Dad.”

“Oh, thank God.” John gasped in relief. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would have been able to keep this up. 

“No, Johnny C, Johnny C, Johnny C!” Damian called out to him as he left the dining table, but John tuned him out. He’d had enough of this bullshit for one evening, content just watching Nora come clean to her father about Ava and Sara, about the house, about Ray. And of course, Ray the daft softie decided this was a perfect opportunity to ask for Darhk’s blessing to marry Nora. 

“You deceived me, Nora doll. Your own father.” The energy in the room turned caustic as Damian addressed his daughter. A sizzling sound from the table drew everyone’s attention. Darhk’s serving of mousse bubbled and foamed with magic. “You tried to poison me.”

This was going south fast. “That's... that's not as bad as it looks.” Nora’s attempt at placating her father did little to dull the rage in his eyes.

“I've been gone for less than two years, and you... you're a completely different person. And I know who's to blame.” Damian took hold of Ray with his magic, choking him despite his daughter’s protests. John prepared a counterattack but was sent backwards over the couch before he finished the incantation. The fight continued as he struggled to regain his bearings. 

When John got himself back up, Darhk had the hell sword and looked intent to use it. With his attention elsewhere John was able to blast him across the room with fire, releasing his hold on the other Legends. Then because the universe loved to toy with them, Nora’s charge appeared alongside Charlie, Nate, and Behrad in a flash of blue sparkles. 

“Now, that guy is marriage material.” That was the first and probably last time anyone would describe John Constantine like that.

“Quit insulting Ray!” Nora looked to be at her limit at this point. 

“He made you poison your own father!”

“No, he didn't! That was my idea!” 

“That's because he twisted you. Look at you. You're a powerless fairy.” 

“That's it! Pippa, make a wish.” Behrad’s exclamation went ignored by the arguing father and daughter.

“This is the only way you'll learn.” Damian was preparing something big.

But before he could unleash whatever hell he intended Pippa interjected. “I wish you were all on "Mister Parker's Cul-De-Sac"

*******

Leonard hadn’t been able to find Mick, he and Zari must still be dealing with his “troll” problem. He was still on edge about the whole fake dating thing, but his search while fruitless did help him calm down. But that wasn’t the only thing making him uneasy. The Waverider was unusually quiet. The only noise came from Sara’s office on the bridge. That kids show Ray and Pippa were watching was still playing on the TV, but there was no sign of anyone there. 

“If you are looking for the other Legends Mr. Snart, I can tell you they just left for Constantin’s home in Newcastle.” Gideon’s voice chimed from the bridge’s center console. 

“I don’t suppose you can tell me what the situation is down there?”

“I’m afraid not, just that Damian Darhk is currently on the premises.” 

“Thank you, Gideon, you’re a lifesaver.” Len turned on his heel to retrieve a time courier from the lab, he had a bad feeling about this.

“Happy to help Mr. Snart.”

Constantine’s door was locked when Len arrived. That didn’t really matter to him, but he would have to talk to John about how easy it was to pick the lock on his front door. Inside he saw Pippa sat on the floor watching what looked to be Ray, Nora, and Damian Darhk on TV. He approached the kid cautiously, “Hey kid, remember me? I’m a friend of Ray’s can you tell me what happened here.”

Without turning to look away from the tv she responded, “Everyone was yelling and fighting, so I wished they were all on Mr. Parker’s Cul-De-Sac to work out their problems.”

Len blinked. This was his life now. With a sigh he sat down next to Pippa and turned his attention to the TV. Nothing to do now but watch the show. The scene had shifted and there was John and Charlie, this was going to be interesting. The two barely had time to acknowledge the other’s presence before puppet versions of Sara and Ava appeared. 

“Are bloody kidding me? Puppets again.” John had a wild look about him like a man about to snap. Len didn’t know what to process first, the fact that this wasn’t the first time the Legends were turned into puppets, or the fact that whatever happened the first time had traumatized John in some capacity. It was probably a good thing Mick wasn’t around for this mission, he had no idea how his partner would react to being trapped in a children’s television show. 

Pippa seemed to be having the time of her life watching the Legends. Len was just pleased John and Charlie worked out an agreement about the Loom. In true legends fashion all this nonsense somehow worked itself out, Nora and her father came to an admittedly heartfelt understanding and Pippa decided she no longer needed a fairy godmother. The little girl stood up and confidently declared “Fairy Godmother, I release you.”

The telltale blue sparkles of Nora’s magic filled the room as Pippa and the tv disappeared. In their wake the Legends and Darhk had returned. Len immediately went to John’s side and looked him over for any signs of harm.

“I’m alright love, no need to fuss.” John was an expert at deflecting care and worry over his wellbeing, but he really was fine. He worked things out with Charlie, and Damian Darhk wasn’t trying to murder them anymore. As long as he never had to endure the Legends as puppets again, he would be fine. Never again. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned his attention back to Len, a sly grin appearing on his face. “Though if you wanted to take a more in-depth examination, handsome. I would be happy to oblige.” 

*******

Somehow the legends managed to pull everything together for Ray and Nora’s last-minute wedding. Even Mick and Zari made it back in time. Despite the festivities and free booze, the pyro seemed off. Len watched him despondently separate himself from the group, retreating to where the cake sat unattended. With a sigh and a quick kiss Leonard released John from his hold and made his way over to Mick.

The man in question didn’t acknowledge Len’s arrival. It looked like it was on him to get this started. “I know we don’t really do feelings, or at least we didn’t before, but I beginning to get concerned.”

Mick closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He turned towards his partner and leveled a serious look. “I have a daughter.” Leonard’s eyebrows shot up and opened his mouth to respond but Mick wasn’t done. “She’s 16.”

Len did the math in his head. It had to have been when Mick reconnected with Ali when they travelled back to 2004 for the serial killer Encore. He took a long drink and tried to decipher Mick’s unusually pensive expression as he grabbed a fistful of cake with his hands.

“Eating your feelings, I see.” Zari approached them slowly. She’d been with Mick all day, so she was probably there when he’d found out.

Mick continued to stare off into the middle distance. “She’s better off without me.” He was calm, resigned. This was a far cry from Mick’s usual hotblooded nature. Len kept quiet for now, there was something he was missing.

“She reached out to you for a reason.” 

Mick turned away from Zari and reached for his glass of wine. “She's an idiot. I'm an idiot. She's a pain in the ass. I'm a pain in the ass. The fact that she's not already in juvie is a miracle,” he paused for a moment, “and it proves one thing.”

“What?”

“I'm no good for her.”

“Are you sure about that?” Zari was smarter than people gave her credit for, and she could tell when to cut her losses. This conversation wasn’t going to get any further tonight. She gave Mick a pat on the shoulder and took her leave.

Len understood where Mick was coming from. They were deeply damaged people who fell into a life of crime because there was no other viable path for them. And though they were at peace with that for themselves, it wasn’t something he would wish on anyone else. Mick didn’t want to risk becoming his daughter’s villain origin story. He’d concluded that the only way to ensure that didn’t happen was to remove himself from his daughter’s life entirely. He could get the full story tomorrow; tonight, he would just make sure Mick knew Len was there for him. John was likely to notice his absence, but he could make it up to him later.


End file.
